Inner game issues = needing a safety need on approaching.
Hey guys, i've been trouble on approaching, alone
Only one of my friends can wing good, he's also a natural but I'm usaully a lonewolf when i'm sarging. My sticking point is not really approaching anxiety or maybe it is. It seems like I approach when someone has to see me approach. I make friends with the guys at the bar first and I told 'em, hey, lets approach 'em and then I just walk off without waiting for the guys to say yes.
but when i don't apporach and meet the guys first... i get more anxiety not to approach and i know it's usally because I don't have safety net. and the rest of the night, i'm not in a talkative state
i have lots of success when I'm with my best wing-man. he keeps on telling me,"APPROACH!! APPROACH!!" and he forces me to approach. And all those 4 approaches he forced me to go, it all worked.
when i befriend the guys, they see me approach, i am on FIRE!...like i approached the most hardest,imtimidating sets. I learn more also. I approached a couple of HB's 9's and at first they were gonn bitch me but they all turned nice and friendly to me. Pershaps it might be my friendly postive vibe they feel around me.Even the hottest girl in the set gave me a kiss on the cheek =) .... I had lots and lots of positive experiences in the past when I befriend the guys first. Befriending the guys first makes get into emotional state.
But there's also some mixed failures so I decided to approach alone without befriending the guys first because they would later come into the set when the set is not hooked and if it is hooked, they come in coming off weird and it annoys me. sometimes, my sets get jacked. like when i approach those group of spanish girls,and then the guys i met at the bar, i signal them to come in. and then later on that night, they went home with those spanish girls. It was my fault anyway because i let the guy take the frame, i became lazy, didnt feel like being in talkative mood lol..
For the last 2 nights, I came out alone. This time without befriend the guys...and guess what happen. i only approached 1 set and the rest of the night. i wasnt in talkative mood. worst 2 nights i ever had.
My question is: What ways can I be in emotiional state without befriending the guys first.
Hy Misterg
I know what you mean, I consider myself quite fluent in pickup but still feel that insecurity when out alone. Having a friend in the bar or wherever you are does wonders for your confidence, but it's not always possible or ideal.
If you have a regular place you go to, try pitching up a couple of hours before the rush for about a week or so - this will give you the chance to talk to the staff and the locals without noise or crowds. The cool thing about this is that when it becomes time to approach sets, you know quite a lot of people in the place. What's important though, is that those people know the real you, they don't just know you as "the guy who's going to talk to those girls".
This way, there's less of a chance that they will steal your sets, more of a chance that they will actually say genuine, positive things about you when you do bump into them, and you will also be building on a real group of friends... Remember, PUA is just a tool to help you become a more succesful human being, it's not supposed to be the one thing running your life. So make real friends, and you'll have real fun!
