depressing.
I've been really depressed recently searching for the right woman. I don't want to sleep with millions of women, I just want to find the one right for me. I don't want that opportunity to pass me by when I finally do find the woman who is perfect for me. I really connected with someone on an emotional level recently.
Vannesa Lavaty... You'll never know how much I care about you... Her and I aren't the closest people in the world. We're not much more than acquantinces... still.... Her and I are a very rare breed. We both come from extremely damaged pasts. We have the kind of intelligence that only comes from bad upbringing and/or tragedy at a young age. We have the same kind of sick twisted humor and a realization of what really matters in life.
Her and I have been going back and forth on text messages and in class for awhile. I really like this girl. Today I asked her out for coffee, (not the way you would imagine a guy out for coffee I seeded the coffee shop and made it seem noncomital and awesome) and she was like "I can't I'm about to go out to dinner with someone." Fuck, this girl is dating other people already... maybe I should've done this a lot earlier... Did I miss my opportunity with her? I mean really no window ever closes because even married women have affairs. I'm not looking to fuck her though. I want to connect on an emotional level and have something substantial with someone who understands me.
The same thing happened with my friend Randi. Her and I were similar on so many levels I can't even begin to explain it. We're basically the same person, except she's way hotter than I am. I only knew her for two or three weeks before she moved back to Michigan (I live in Phoenix). I had a huge crush on her.
Recently I've been texting her and talking to her and I finally realized that I was madly in love with this woman. I remember a book in Neil Strauss's Master the Game in 30 days. He talked about a Japanese writer who had a particular story. I don't remember exactly but paraphrased...
A man and a women met one night and instantly fell in love. They had the most incredible night and afterwords they decided to leave it to fate to get them back together. They departed, sure that they would see each other again. They both went back to the spot they met but never managed to arrive at the same time. Years later they passed and they were so different they didn't recognize each other.
I wonder if I passed up on my one chance at love with someone who could have made me happy. THIS IS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN AGAIN! I feel so stupid for letting it happen once or twice... the next time I fall for someone they are mine. Until then I will work on improving me, and I'll let the women chase me.
I honestly think I am on the same page as you Brady. Even though I am still in High school, and I a have never had a "real" relationship, maybe I am deperate for one, or maybe I am just looking for the right one at this age. I have kind of thought about "The Game" and everything that applies. All of the stuff is great, if you want to get with a girl and just, well, not leave her, but not have a decent relationship with her. I haven't even noticed anything teaching you how to keep the relationship, how to go from going out to coffee with her. Where do you go from there, or the inital date.
*I am getting so many different pieces of advice on Chantae (the girl).
My girlfriends are positive that is is mind games, my bros say Fuck her'.
Me? I do the typical guy thing and think it's my fault.
I mean, more than usual though. I really think it is my fault, partial though.
Do I chase her? If so how.
If I think about it right this instance, 6:17 AM March 2nd, 2009.
I like her because:
She is short
She is blonde
She is athletic
She is quiet
She has a belly button piercing
She seemed interested in me at one point in time
Notice those are physical attributes.
Why am I feeling for her then!!!
But seriously Brady, I think I am feelnig the same way you are. Maybe a PUA is not for me.
-Brenden
I used to think the way you guys think, there is that 100% perfect girl out there for me. But I am not sure I believe it is true now. I think you need to worry less about finding someone who is perfect for you, and just fined someone you can just hang out with. I think you hurt your chances with a girl when you say, she is my perfect girl, cause now you need her to complete you. Sometimes you might be better having someone that did not have a damaged past, rather then a girl with a past just like yours. I think its cool to find someone who is passionate about stuff I am not passionate about, you can learn from them and enjoy something you may have never tried before. Just my 2 cents
Here is the story you where talking about
Once upon a time there was a guy and he was going to do his laundry. He was not thinking about anything special, he was just walking down the street to do his laundry. From the other direction there was a woman; she was going to mail a letter. She was not thinking of anything special, she had not done her makeup or put on her going out clothing she was just going to mail a letter. It just so happened that they passed each other
The guy looked at the girl and said to himself "that is the 100% perfect girl for me, who would think I would just be going out to do my laundry and see the 100% perfect girl for me. The girl looked at the guy and said to herself "that is the 100% perfect guy for me. By some miracle they worked up the guts to talk to each other. So they stopped and talked to each other, and everything they had in common clicked 100% and everything they did not have in common complemented each other perfectly. So they sat down on a bench near the ocean and hours passed by in the blink of an eye
After a while they said this is to weird, what are the chances of just walking down the street and running into your 100% perfect person. Just a little slither of doubt crossed their minds. So they said if this is really for real and meant to be, then we are going to separate right now without exchanging phone numbers, we will just walk away and if fate has really meant for us to be together we will run into each other again. We will know it was really meant to be, and we will just get married on the spot.
So they separated, he went to the east and she went to the west and 2 days past, a week past, a month past, a year past and they did not see each other again. After a few years they decided to start dating again and they found 60% perfect love, 70% perfect love, 80% perfect love. But they never found 100% perfect love again. As more time passed they got married and had kids, after many years there families had died off from a terrible influenza that was going around. They where both alone again
One day the guy was walking down the street to do his landry, now his old hands are shaking. She was walking down the street to mail a letter her hands shaking also. They looked at each other, he said "I think I know that girl" and she said "I think I know that guy" and they just walked past each other
Fate had meant for them to be together, but fate never gave them another chance
Haruki Murakam
I do love that story. You know for me I've never considered anyone I've dated, for a long time, a friend. I was attracted to them from day one and I knew they were special. We clicked and fell head over heels in love with each other. It's only happened twice to me but those relationships make up a combined total of a little over 5 years of my life (or like 80% of my dating life since I didn't get my first kiss 'til I was 15, I'm 22 now).
It's different for me than it is for most men, simply because I enjoy long relationships. You might be right about not going after damaged people lol. I know it's a terrible idea but I really can't help it. Like Neil Strauss points out in The Stylelife Challenge, "Attraction is not a choice." Thanks again for putting up the story I appreciate it.
Maybe brady should start dating bhart. problem is you both have vaginas. Man Up! Don't get me wrong, i've had some women make me bite the dust. You get pissed you get sad you get self destructive, but you have to move on. Rejection Is Never Personal. Even if you're infatuated with a girl you ain't shit to her cause she has no idea of what you feel or what you want if you don't make it explicitly clear. Women are whores that way. They could be all over your shit while looking for approval, touching you laughing at your jokes, but that's just because their daddy's didn't love them enough. Women sometimes use men for validation. Just when you think you got something you ain't got shit. Recently i was hurt pretty bad by library girl. This bitch is hardcore. Mean ass bitch. Not only would she not like me she took everything i said to her and told it to her friends just so they could laugh at me. This went on for a couple of weeeks. I found out thru a friend of a friend. 20 benadryls and one liter of bacardi later I was born again (i don't recommend this atll, you will die) When I get pissed angry or regretful i just want to hurt myself you know. Like do something to make myself pay. That's how i erased 500 gigs of porn I had in my pc one day. one mistake ammounts to another and another, break the cycle. Get a clean break. Start anew. today you feel like this, tomorrow is another day. There are no special women. I've been in 2 major relationships one of 2 years and another 3 years, both times I thought I was "in love" both times I thought that "it" she was "the one" I bought a ring the second time. Both relationships ended. 50% of marriages fail, take that in. Not relationships, marriages. 50% of the people who were so damn sure that was it, till death do us part. Fucking fail. Now don't tell me these girls you barely know are "it". There are tons and tons of women, one of them is bound to be perfect for you and like you back. Read the books, study the system. Work at it. Persist. It works. 3 months ago I had some little cunt mopping the floor with me. Today I'm dating this girl:
Yeah that. I'm hitting that. I'm totally normal, totally unremarkable and I'm dating an autoshow model. More pictures to come, feel free to rub one out to that, I do it for all of us.
Oh my god eddie is so right! I never realized I had a vagina before! Your advice is always so helpful... how did I miss it? OH BTW GJ coming off as a prick who needs validation. Way to flaunt your girl you sure impressed me. Wow... I envy you so much when I dream at night I hope I can be you.
sup joe not a bad Hb and brady dont envy it make you look week, just go out and get your self one anyone can do it... anyways guys you all doing well keep it up
Oh my god eddie is so right! I never realized I had a vagina before! Your advice is always so helpful... how did I miss it? OH BTW GJ coming off as a prick who needs validation. Way to flaunt your girl you sure impressed me. Wow... I envy you so much when I dream at night I hope I can be you.
-bradyhuang
I'm not flaming you, I'm motivating you with tough love. That's how it's always been done at my house. And I am prick you are right on that one. If I took time out of my day to read your message and reply, for you, you shouldat least try to get what i'm saying here. You do not "love" this girl you barely know. You're just going thru the motions, your feelings are not real, they come from desperation and loneliness. Don't go after someone so intently only because you don't want to be alone. You need to spread out your attention and your psychoness. Or else she gets it full blast without you even realizing it. Honestly I don't anything out of telling you this or anything else for that matter, do whatever you want.
lol I think ditto missed my sarcasm completely. That's ok... thx for the tough love. Sorry if I pissed you off, I had a pretty bad day yesterday.
Also, I think you guys are missing the point of me sharing my stories with you. Don't get me wrong I'm still going out and opening sets with random women. It's actually impossible for me to not open sets now... I'll be walking through campus with my friends and see a cute girl or something interesting and I have to walk up and start a conversation.
