What do I do now?
Look, before you go and take the time replying, understand I am 18, little relationship knowledge, and very novice in this whole ordeal.
Sum everything up.
I have talked on and off to this one girl for the past 2 years, nothing complicated, just "hi's and bye's".
And I realize this one guy was going to ask her out a week later, so I put my kahunas in my hand, and asked her.
She said "yea"
I couldn't of been happier.
I went over her house that Sunday(I asked her Friday) to watch the Nascar race with her.
We were just playing around the whole time, her parents were there, I wasn't even going to ATTEMPT to make a move. So, she drove me hom, it was that awkward "ok...."
We kissed, made my day, next day, it was just kind of dead air, I saw other people with gf's and bf's in the hallway and I wanted that so I held her hand, she never gave me any signs that she wanted to, but with Chantae(the girl). She is very,very,very quiet, and I am very outgoing, and somewhat loud. Not really though, I guess you can say it's one of the relationships that "opposites attract".
So, it felt like.
If I didn't make her laugh, or make her smile before every hour, that current hour would seem very shitty, hoping to redeem myself the next 5 mins before the next calss period.
Tuesday afternoon, she pulled me to the side, I knew what was coming.
She said "My feelings changed now that I am with you."
"You are not as mellow as I thought you would be"
So I went home feeling shitty!
I talked to her best friend who promised wouldn't say anything to her, which is still the case, she is "on my side" if you will.
So I went up to her the next day and said I was willing to change my ways, claiming I only acted differently because it was a new relationship, in the first week, so I was a little nervous, probably came of differently than how she knew me.
She said it wasn't going to work.
So I "nagged" about what I did wrong and she came out with her feelings
"Why can't you guys jsut stick with one girl!!!"
He (the asshole ex) realized what he did wrong(cheated on her with another girl and cheated on that one with another girl) and wanted me back!
Now every guy that I am with will have to suffer the same fate!
I told this to my friends that are girls and her good friend, she said Chantae was just saying that to make me feel bad, and put her ontop of the situation.
But her ex was a true asshole.
And she said everything I did with her reminded her of him.
Keep in mind we only dated 5 days.
Now she is going after another asshole, which to be honest, I don't know why.
Do I let her go completely? Puruse her, flirt with others???
I require specific advice.
I really like her, is she just to immatur for me?
It has been bugging me every day. I don't want her with another asshole, and her friends as well as I do, think I got cheated out of my chance.
My advice is: Don't be such a pussy.
Take it easy you're overthinking it. Realx. Live your life. Go on like nothing happened. She might or might not return. But don't let her get into your head like that.
hahahahahhahahahaha don't be such a pussy.... Eddie I'm liking you more and more. If you've ever read The Mystery Method he says "forget about that one girl in particular," and "remember, it's no big deal." The point of this is that if you really like the girl and you try to force it (like you did) then more than likely you're going to come across as needy and she's going to break up with you (like she did).
The truth of the matter is more than likely NOT that you remind her of her ex-boyfriend. That's probably just her backwards rationalization for losing feelings for you. If you came across as a more interesting person, higher valued, person, she would chase you. Everything from the way you asked her out, the way you held her hand, etc. puts the power in her hands and it makes you seem like you have lower value. WOMEN DON'T LIKE MEN WITH LOWER VALUE!
My advice to you, fuck her friend. FUCK HER FRIEND GOOD! If you barely have enough game to get with a girl that already has telegraphed interest in you, then you really need to step your game up to do this. Of course, it's always really awkward when you first start the Mystery Method, it took me a month to number close my first complete stranger.
here's some more specific advise, the next time you see your ex smile at you (I'm assuming you still talk) tell her to stop hitting on you. Tell her she's your new wife and then break up with her, tell her she can keep the cats. Hire her for something (you're new beverage taster) then find an excuse to fire her a min later. This is called DISQUALIFYING. Tell her she reminds you of your sister/mother, tell her she's just like your ex-girlfriend that you hate, tell her that you could never date anyone with such ugly shoes. IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER JUST DISQUALIFY HER.
It really sounds to me like you need to start at the very beginning again... go approach random women and work on your openers. Until you're comfortable talking to women in any situation then you really won't be able to use any other methods effectively.
Well, we don't "talk" at all anymore.
Would your advice still be senseful?
I mean, the purpose of it is...what again?
By the way, her friend is a very very very devoted catholic, and she acts somewhat shy and awkward, I mean they are still young, I think personally. I am athiest, there is nothing going there, sorry.
Oh, and she will be dating the asshole in a week.
She doesn't necessarily smile, not because of what happened, it's just her...That's all.
Almost a dazed look, you know?
She'll kind of jsut nod her head and barely open her eyes a little more.
To be perfectly honest, there is no way in HELL she would expect these things coming from me, I can't even imagine the response or facial expression.
I would assume, I am trying to get back at her, or hell. I don't know
I just removed her off my friends on myspace.
Sounds so kiddish, but I really didn't/ don't want anything to do with her.
You really don't understand women at all do you? It's not my responsibility to justify my responses to you. Take my advice or don't. I guarantee you if you keep trying the same things you will get the same results.
Ok, Brady, due to your aggression, I will try.
Regardless the consquuences, even if she is always around the new guy.
Ha, this will be quite interesting, I may say.
You will get the report later on tonight
You need to realize this bhart, we are on your side. All the advice we give you, when you ask for it, is in your best interest. I know you're young, hell you´re way ahead of me when I was your age. Take it in stride, you have your whole life ahead of you.
Well, I was going to "disqualify" her but she was already holding hands with him.................................
The best revenge is to get another girl and parade her in front of that girl. Easier said then done, I think any girl will do she does not have to be a 10. Chalk it up as a learning experience.
tough luck dude... a lot of the time you can't help but get fucked by an outside source... I've had people that I've gone on dates with have their ex-boyfriends come back into the picture and fuck things up for me while I was on vacation before... it just happens. There's a ton of women out there.
You might say you don't know anyone like this girl. She's obviously got to be pretty special. Remember though you haven't met every girl at your school.... there might be someone out there who you can have a better relationship with then you've ever dreamed possible. I'm going to share with you a story similar to the one you are going through.
When I was in highschool I was a little chubby gothic kid with shoulder length hair, a trench coat, and clothes that were at least 3 years old. I wasn't one of those gothic kids that buys clothing more expensive than the preppy people just to fit in. I was a kid who really didn't give a fuck about what anyone else thought of them. I hated the world and everything in it. You probably can't relate to that but here's something you can relate to.
I was madly in love with Michelle Nicole Ollar. I remember I wanted to date this girl from the moment I saw her. I managed to get her to date me for a week, but then she broke up with me. We still had classes together and I still talked to her. I tried going out of my way to make sure she knew I thought the world of her... and nothing worked. I was stuck in the friend zone.
I was friends with this girl forever and a day... and it wasn't until months later that she actually realized that she liked me. She asked me out to the movies, was insistent on calling me every day, and the look in her eyes when she stared at me was priceless. She really loved me for me... and that is a very beautiful thing. We had an amazing two year relationship.
If I would have stopped talking to her all together, or if I had continued to actively pursue her as more than a friend, our relationship wouldn't have existed. Stop trying to be in control of everything, and just let things happen. Just make sure you stay in touch with that girl and don't let her out of your life if she really means something to you. Tell her you're over the two of you breaking up, that it wasn't a good idea to date anyway because the two of you are too similar/different/whatever. Then just start talking to her again...
Then neg and disqualify her because there's nothing more fun than doing that lol. I love disqualifying and neging women it makes me happy.
I think I will take your advice on that one.
I can already picture her reactions to the disqualifying already.
Not so much surprised, but confused and looking at me wierdly.
You are in the beginning of one-itis. I would recommend focusing on other girls, and if she comes back then so be it, but do not pursue her - you were too needy and it turned her off. I know how that goes, it is easy to do, especially when you are younger. If she sees that you aren't the least bit bothered by losing her, and sees you with other women she may start to want you back. But, it is very true what they say - it is much easier to get a new girl than to get one back that you already blew it with.
