Very New to the Game

I received an email today from a chap (tiger69 was that you?) who told me that he was very unhappy, and how he desperately needs help. He has taken a well known bootcamp and feels that it taught him nothing. He too feels that some of the people out there are too expensive. One of his biggest sticking points is approach anxiety. Here is just a short quote from his email, in order to maintain his privacy. My reply is included also.

I want a workshop or coaching that will work with my needs and I haved not found one yet. Everyone promises great results and I know its a numbers game I need help dude plain and simple but Mystery is to expensive so is Love systems and all the others has well. What to do.........?

Hey xxxxxxxx,

I actually receive an overwhelming number of emails that are very similar to yours.

I make no false promises so perhaps my marketing may always seem less enticing than others. I won't promise to get every guy laid like a rockstar.. I won't promise that I guarantee you will learn my techniques and be sleeping with playboy bunnies and models even if you are 350lbs, etc.. you know the regular hype.

What I can say is that I will definitely help any man improve his level of success with women. For some that might mean dating models, for others it might mean enjoying relationships with women they are attracted to, but certainly not model material. Within the process you should become happier with yourself, have higher self esteem, and a significantly better self image, and a higher level of confidence. I incorporate Indirect Game such as taught by Mystery, NLP, Direct Game, and my own insights from years of teaching.. studying.. time in-field.. and time with many beautiful women. My focus is more on being your best attractive self, rather than trying to put on someone else's scripted persona. The guys that only work at putting on a facade usually discover that they can't keep quality women around, as that facade so quickly crumbles. This is actually true for many of the so called pua gurus out there, if anyone could see behind the scenes into their actual personal lives.

Realise thought that it is unlikely that ANY workshop event has the ability to instantly "fix" a man's dating problems. It will require some ongoing effort on your part. I consider this a rather interesting area of self help. It's not just a matter of getting motivated to achieve a goal, such as Anthony Robbins might talk about. It's similar, but the steps to get to your desired outcome require you to become more social, where you develop (often over time) an intuition about where women are emotionally at. It takes time socialising to develop what I call your Social Self. In many cases the individual has to work against years of negative reinforcement, and negative beliefs about themselves. Others have different sticking points, and are able to improve rapidly by learning a handful of simple and effective socialising techniques. Techniques that give them a shift in both their attitudes, and communication towards women.

That's one part... The other part is developing the ability to consistently be able to create sexual tension with a woman. Some men never learn this skill, and believe me it is a skill. Some men are lucky. Perhaps they have good genes, or they have a great outlook on life.. a inherent confidence and attitude of entitlement.. possible they have all of those qualities. That could have been due to nature or nurture, or a combination, but either way their interactions have always been positive with women, which create ongoing positive reinforcement.

Creating sexual tension seems so very difficult and almost impossible when you can't do it. When watching someone who has the ability it almost seems like they have some magical power. That's how I used to feel. Women just didn't seem to find me attractive, and I reflected on every interaction negatively.. it just seemed to prove my belief that I was ugly in some way to women. Watching others I always thought their success was because they were either good looking or rich. Well I became rich, and I was still lonely and miserable, so then I just thought it was 100% about looks.

When the skill of creating sexual tension finally clicked for me it just seemed so simple, almost easy.. and to others they watch in amazement as the sexual vibe between me and the girl I'm talking to intensifies. Now it's like I have a certain power over women. It took me a long time to get to this point, and I wanted to quit many times along the way. I don't have any magic power. I just feel differently about myself, and the skills that I had to learn I now do naturally. On one side simple, on the other side a long journey. (btw.. I really didn't plan on writing this much.)

I will agree with some of the marketing hype out there that it is possible for almost any guy to sleep with some of the hottest women. BUT.. it might take a ridiculous amount of effort, or manipulation, or lifestyle change to accomplish that.. especially if they are trying to get women far far out of their league.. doubly so if they expect to keep them around.

How could I help you specifically?

I can help with these areas and more:

• Help you push through the approach anxiety.
• Help you improve the way you convey your identity and lifestyle through your personal style.
• Help you develop a more captivating and charismatic way of speaking to women.
• Help you develop the skills necessary for creating sexual tension and chemistry.
• Help you through your personal sticking points.

First it would help for me to understand where you are at, by asking you a few questions:

• How long have you been working on this? (In a structured way, with PUA or other teachings.)
• What was taught at the workshop you attended? (Just a short list of the curriculum.. Was it in-field? Was it strictly routines? Was it just theory or routines? etc.)
• What makes you think that the bootcamp you took didn't teach you anything?
• What do you think is your biggest and most frustrating problem? (You mentioned AA.. it might be that or something else)
• What are your expectations from coaching or coming to a live event?
• If there is no quick fix for you, then are you willing to invest time, and effort to improve this area of your life?
• What type of woman would you be happy with in a relationship? (being realistic here, and not wishing for a supermodel.. also what age range?)

I should also let you know that I don't do in-field anymore for several reasons; Since the VH1 show I get recognised far too much and it is often a tainted experience for a coaching client. Bringing on in-field coaches is simply too difficult to manage, and especially hard to maintain quality control to meet everyone's expectations. I'm 36, and coming from a professional career in engineering, that is simply not where I wish to focus my time and my life.

I hope this answers your questions. If you have any more please let me know, and if you decide that I can help you then it would be great to help you feel better about this area of your life.. either with coaching, or at a workshop event.

All the best,
Justin.

Thanks JDOG,
For you quick reply. I have some questions, if you dont do field work how would I be able to meet women, do you use females in your workshops? How much is your workshop? I am finacial strapped so Im wondering if this would fit my needs. How much do you charge for coaching and if that would be in field?

Hey tiger69.. I often have wing girls at my workshops. From my experience, although it may seem synthetic doing exercises in a controlled environment, it allows us to address say 95% of a guy's problems. If enough people request in-field then I will look into bringing on some in-field coaches. For now I believe the workshop format to be the best and mot consistent learning process.
The Day Game workhop in Phoenix this Febrary 28th-March1st is $799, and my newsletter readers always receive discounted rates.

   What do you mean by being realistic about the above statement Jdog?

What do you mean by "what type"?  Looks, personality? I dont get it.

Peace Ryan

Hey Ryan.. that was in response particularly to an older gentleman, who since indicated that he was looking for women his own age.

My concern was that guys find this community, and then they are possibly mislead by marketing hype.. the hype being that they can learn some routines, or a 'method' and then be sleeping with playboy bunnies. Instantly! Without improving who they are themselves, without working on many aspects of their lives, from grooming, to health, fitness, hygiene even, and also being able to fit in with say a high value woman's lifestyle. Lifestyle mismatch can be an issue.. and some superficial 'tactics' aren't going to compensate for that.

• What type of woman would you be happy with in a relationship? (being realistic here, and not wishing for a supermodel.. also what age range?)

What do you mean by being realistic about the above statement Jdog?

What do you mean by "what type"?  Looks, personality? I dont get it.

But generally, all those things.. If someone is going to invest their money, and I am going to invest my time in coaching someone then it makes sense to understand their expectations. So as much information as possible with regards to what type of woman/women they are looking for. Such as; looks, personality, style/subculture, age, career, and maybe even the woman's passions and interests.

If a guy comes to me who seriously has an absence of women in his life.. then it is unlikely that he can go from no women to dating the top echelon of models over night.. make sense? My coaching and workshops aren't for everyone, and I'm not going to take someone's money if they are looking for the equivalent of a diet pill, rather than being willing to work on improving themselves.

Sorry for being late, I wrote this big letter then it got earased:(
But yeah what you said in the above makes sense for me. Now I just need to figure out how to have her start flirting with me, and hitting me playfully. Because of that aproach anxiety recording I can talk to any beautiful lady without her thinking I like her. My sticking point is where they ask for my number, or they tell me they have a bf. Its something that makes them say it, but I ont know what(that they have a bf). The conversations go great, Its like when I start to think "she will probably start flirting with me" the conversation goes great. I can tell when she is flirting with me, but I just need to know how to create it so me and the girl are flirting and really hitting it off.
If there is anything else I should know, all eyes are open.
Thanks also for responding so quickly

Hey anything specifically on sexual tension, I know ur stuff works for sure, Because I am having conversations with bomb ass girls now!!!!!!!!!   the thing I need to know how to do is to put my hands on their sides (the right way) and push away), or other ways to do sexual tension.? I want them thinking about me all night if u Know what I mean man.
I will be checking on your other videos, Thanks alot for all this info.I havent been able to watch all ur vids because of low wifi.
Thanks J-Dog