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Foundation's Journal. Enjoy.

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noitadnuof

rookie - member

2 posts

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Originally posted on ArizonaPUA.com - December 28, 2008, 02:20:53 AM

Went out tonight for the first time that I was actually going to concentrate on my social interaction. I was out with my friend from work and two of his buddies, none of which are aware of the community. I was doing well opening groups within the 3 second rule. I used a lot of situational openers; I only used my canned opener once. I opened maybe 4 sets solidly. For every set that I opened I ejected to quickly except one. I didn’t pay enough attention to IOI’s and the group’s mood. When I open a group I have a hard time transitioning from my opening remarks or story into more of a conversation.
For the set that I didn’t eject prematurely I will go into detail as to what happened. A five set was sitting at two conjoined, round tables; I opened the two obstacles so that my back was to the target (HB7). I fluffed with the obstacles for about five minutes before the subject of my hat was brought up, when they asked where I had got it I said it was a gift, then when they asked what I was drinking I told them I didn’t know, it was given to me by an earlier set I had opened. I had been completely ignoring the target this entire time, and then she turned and asked if I was poor, I replied with “Maybe I am poor, you’re kind of a B-word for asking that question.” (I meant it as a joke), then continued to fluff with obstacles. As it turns out my comment really upset the target and I got blown out. It was about 0110 at this point and getting blown out took my enthusiasm from the rest of the night so I caught a cab home.
I live in a small city so many of the people at this bar I have met while going out previously. About a quarter of the people at the bar I have met before I started to study social interaction. This is good because I already have something to converse about with these people, but it is bad because they know my old character, the person I don’t want to be anymore.

Things I did well in my opinion:
Little to no approach anxiety
Felt good about attire
Had only three drinks (normally I am a heavy drinker)

Things that I didn’t do so well in my opinion:
Ran out of thing to talk about
Too caustic with IOD’s
Not enough DHV’s
Let outcome affect mood
Sat with my group in safe zone too often
Ejected too quickly from sets
Moved around venue too much

Enjoy,
Foundation

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04 January 2009 07:17 AM

noitadnuof

rookie - member

2 posts

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Originally posted on ArizonaPUA.com - December 31, 2008, 12:25:30 PM

I have gone out a couple nights in the past few days, and I have run into a dilemma, one I’m sure you guys will know something about. I went out this last Sunday the 28th and there was only one group of people at the bar. The group was a bunch of guys I work with and there was only one available lady with them. I did work a couple routines with her, but she was also the subject of the attention of the other six guys at the place, all of which were my friends. If I was more proficient at social interaction I could have had her, but I’m not, I got her number but didn’t set up a day two or anything. I went out again last night, Tuesday the 30th, and there was not a single dame in the place besides the bartender who was talking to her BF who was there. I ended up just shooting pool with my buddy for a couple hours then going home.
I enjoy going out and like to at every available opportunity. My question is what is the best thing to do when there are few or no ladies out on the nights I am? I still go out on the “on” nights, but that is only Thursday, Friday, and Saturday in my city.
Thanks for all the advice from my last post, it was great, you guys are awesome. Enjoy tonight gents.

Enjoy,
Foundation

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04 January 2009 07:19 AM

jdog

regular - founder

93 posts

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NOTE: This is in reply to the first question.. these last 2 posts in this topic got out of sync.

Hey there noitadnuoF (that's some name btw.. edit: ok I just figured it out.. duh!)

This is a great field report. I see that you are quite new, and really the summary you wrote at the end is a great thing to do.. a quick list of things that you are happy you did well, and the short list of things that could have been better. I used to write field reports the same way. Writing field reports can take a lot of time, and summarising in bullet points like that is a smart thing to do.

- Good job on being out in the field, even though your friends are unaware of the community.
- Good job on opening 4 sets. Many people get into this and then they rarely even open.. how will they ever learn, and get more calibrated? They won't... you will.
- Ejecting prematurely is fine, while you focus more on opening properly. Ideally,it would be better to push through your discomfort so that you start to develop a sense for when you can progress forwards, and also when it's just a dead set.

You're in a small town, and people have a certain perception about you. That is not going to change over night. You will find that girls that only have a superficial opinion of you will be able to accept and change their perception. This could even work in your favour as showing someone a different side of yourself can totally smash their opinion of who you are, which is quite powerful. Those who have previously got to know you on a deeper level in the past will find it more difficult to accept a new version of you.

Here are my thoughts on the set that you described in detail. It was going well initially, and as far as one is able to tell from reading (as there is no emotional feedback.. we weren't there) it seems like the obstacles were giving you real IOI's. You were probably doing enough right to have them genuinely interested and intrigued about you.

You completely ignored the target for 5 minutes, which is not really the way to play it. Search for "active disinterest" I wrote a long post explaining the misconception of the concept in reply to an earlier post. It would have been better to include her, but just convey subtly that you weren't that interested. Nonetheless I would have taken her question as an IOI, when she asked if you were poor.

Your hat was a gift.. your drink was a gift.. It made perfect sense. In my book she's one of the more intelligent and feisty ones to actually say that. MMMB is right .. NEVER call a women a bitch, or any other insult, unless you know you can pull it off. I can totally do that and the girl will love me, but that wasn't always the case.

Off the top of my head I would have replied with something like:

HB: Oh, are you poor?
PUA: yes I am actually.. will you be my sugar mommy (then go into a whole role reversal / sexual predator themed roleplay conversation)

or

PUA: wow.. I can't believe you just said that.. way to hurt a guy's feelings (then turn to her friends and say, "OMG I can't believe you guys hang out with her.. is she always like that?"

An interesting thing that I have learnt over the years is that in addition to what you say you are judged just as much, if not more so, by your REACTIONS.. whenever I'm in the shit because of something I've said, or whenever a girl shit tests me it gives me the opportunity to be witty, and dissipate the tension. THAT is dynamite.

It's like when you watch stand up comedy. The comedian can be saying something, and you're not sure how to take him.. you may even find it a little insulting and think to yourself "that's not very funny" ..and then right when you're about to leave he completely dissipates the tension by reframing the whole thing with one witty comment. When you can do that on the fly it totally says all the right things about you, and creates a huge attraction spike.

Now I'm not saying to purposely get yourself in the shit so that you can recover powerfully.. no, I'm saying that there is usually an opportunity to turn things around to your advantage.

Good job.. keep it up!

..oh and thanks for joining the aksjdog board.. J!

__________________

learn the art of seduction at www.askjdog.com and join the discussion forum.askjdog.com

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04 January 2009 08:10 AM

jdog

regular - founder

93 posts

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NOTE: In answer to Foundation's 2nd question.

Foundation that's a good 2nd question. The reason why I like quieter off nights is that there is no need to work it so hard.. not in the same way as in a crowded bar or club. If there are no girls at all, even no hired guns then leave and find somewhere else. Unless you don't care.. it IS ok to just be out enjoying your friend's company.

Scenario: The only girl is a hired gun, and last time I was there she was talking with her BF.

You can still talk to her. That is the best time to talk to a hired gun. The exception being where you are highly proofed with pre-selection.. a hot girl on each arm, and just start qualifying the hired gun. So back to the scenario this is like day game. You can convey your value through stories, through her overhearing you talking to your friends. To her seeing the interaction between you and others. To sexual tension and chemistry between you and her when you tease her.

Scenario: Only 1 or 2 girls in the whole bar.

I love this situation. This is where I have a VERY high chance of meeting the girl, and seeing her again. If she is with her boyfriend then that is your judgement call. I generally will leave them to themselves. If they are really into each other then I don't think it's right to mess with that. If I sense that she is really looking and available then I'll start talking with them, or her.

In a quiet bar, I can EASILY stand out and have the girl interested in me. I find that running high octane club game is crude, and rather un-sophisticated. Strategically and surgically working a quiet room that's James Bond! Actually as I right this I'm in a quiet coffee shop (not Starbucks haha) and there was just one cute girl in here. She was with a guy, early on in them hanging out. He's making arrangements to see her again for a drink.. who do you think she was giving IOI's to? Hehe..

If you have a specific question for one of these scenarios then please post it.

Cheers.. J!

__________________

learn the art of seduction at www.askjdog.com and join the discussion forum.askjdog.com

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11 January 2009 04:16 AM

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